You Don't Need Permission

One of the hardest parts of beginning to do what you love is learning that you don't need permission to do it. 

When you begin to do what you love, and you view the thing you love as a gift to the world, the universe responds in a positive way. 

You don't need permission to write a book; to say I love you to someone; to learn how to do something you've never done before. The people I respect and admire most in my life are the ones that have just started. They didn't wait around for a pile of money or work jobs they hated for extended periods of time. They just started doing, even while they were uncertain of the outcome. They acted. Moved forward. 

They gave themselves permission. 

I was reading about Philippe Petit, a Frenchman who walked a wire attached between the World Trade Center towers. He didn't ask for permission to do this. In fact, his act was absolutely crazy because he wasn't paid at all, and it was completely illegal. He devoted years of his life for an act that the world would witness, even though everyone he knew deemed the moment impossible. I think we need more of that in the world today—people who take the seemingly impossible and make it a reality.

A friend of mine once told me that I was a gunslinger. I didn't really understand what he meant when he called me that, but it made me feel important. It made me feel like I had permission to be exactly who I wanted to be. The hard truth is, I should have known that myself. He saw potential in me. Plenty of people saw it. But I struggled to recognize it myself. I think we all have forms of resistance in our lives, sometimes our own voices, that tell us we aren't worth much, but I truly believe every human being is filled with beautifully original ideas. 

My fiancée, Kate, is a copywriter. She works with words all day. Sometimes it's incredibly hard for her to see how talented she is because no one views her professional work as a gift, including herself. In the past year and a half, Kate has developed a love for food, farming, and health, and in an effort to combine her talents and her passions, she reached out to a few local farms to see if they’d be interested in exchanging skills: her writing abilities for their food/farming knowhow.  She got connected to a local farm, Urban Roots, to help with a rebrand and website makeover. Last night she was able to present the website content she had created for them, for free (as a gift to help them), and they loved it. They loved it so much in fact that they stopped her midway through her presentation to tell her how good it was, and how uniquely talented she was at conveying exactly what they couldn't on their own. I've not seen her that happy with work that she's produced for someone else in a long time. That night, she had the realization that her work is a gift and her talent does have value. She didn't need permission to do that work. She just felt compelled to pursue it, and when she did—something magical happened. 

Most of these thoughts sprung from Seth Godin's book Linchpin, which was gifted to me from my dear friend, Jill. She had a copy on her shelf that I've been eyeing for quite some time, and I just asked to borrow it a couple of weeks ago. I think everyone should read this book. It’s a gift in itself—one that causes change simply because it exists. I've been following Seth's blog forever, and it is incredible how much Seth has to offer the world in terms of changing and evolving with the times instead of staying put and hoping for change. 

I started working a new job six months ago. It caused a boatload of change in my life, which I've grown to be thankful for. It took me five years of healing to get to a place where I can grow on a regular basis. I am no longer a passive observer, but an active agent of change in my own life. My two biggest changes have been getting engaged to a woman who challenges me to be the best version of myself, and starting a new job that encourages me pursue creativity and leadership. In my relationships and at work, I am creating value because I am no longer standing around hoping shit works out, but now I’m actually acting in ways that make change occur.  

I’m not saying this to pat my own back, but more so to offer encouragement to others in a principle that I truly believe in. We can be incredible if we just give ourselves permission to act like we are.